You promise a lot in a wedding vow. All that for richer or for poorer stuff. A little bit of in sickness and in health. But what about “in 5 bedrooms or in a tiny home?” Are there any vows for living together in a small space?
Well, I may not have promised to love in 380 square feet, but dang it, here I am giving it my best!
And by best I mean googling conflict resolution and gift ideas for men every other day. #judgeme
When we first got married, my husband and I were that gross couple. People would look at us and roll their eyes. We were constantly holding hands and shelling out compliments. We thought we were the perfect couple. And to our credit, we went through a lot our first couple years of dating and marriage.
Long distance courtship? Nailed it.
Planning a wedding in 30 days? No big deal.
Getting pregnant 4 weeks after our wedding day and spending our “honeymoon phase” pregnant? We got this.
12 month deployment? Okay, that sucks but bring it.
Then we moved into an RV.
And the first few months were totally fine. But then we renovated our RV. And then got a smaller rig. Oh, and after all that we started traveling.
So after 2.5 years of living together in a small space, we’ve learned a lot about each other. And a lot about getting along.
Hide Your Eye Rolls and Bite That Tongue
Things can get testy pretty quick in a small space. Probably because it’s impossible to hide those vibes you give off when you’re annoyed.
But for the sake of your relationship, you better at least try to stop the eye rolls and back talk.
Here’s an example: Your wife says something just utterly ridiculous. She’s acting up and you know she’s just in a bad mood.
Boy, you better pretend you gotta pee and roll those eyes behind closed doors!
And here’s an example for the ladies: Did your husband “forget” to clean the crumbs off the counter again? Girl, you better bite that tongue and just do it yourself before the ants come marchin’.
Trust me, those silly little things just aren’t worth the argument that is going to explode in your living room/kitchen/nursery/dining room!
Not everything is about you, so stop asking.
I Bet You Think This Mood Swing Is About You, Don’t You, Don’t You, Don’t Youuuuuu?
Okay, I’m so incredibly guilty of this and I really gotta learn to get over myself! When Ed comes home and I sense something is “off”, I immediately think, WHAT HAVE I DONE??? I’ll start asking if he’s mad at me, or what I did, or just anything generally annoying to someone who is already annoyed.
Don’t be like Liz. Let your spouse have his alone time and get out of his funk. If it was about you, he’ll let you know, oh he will let you know!
Sound the alarm!
We all have days where nothing is going right. You know the kind, like when you literally cry over spilled milk and you look in the mirror and see an active volcano.
If something is SERIOUSLY BOTHERING you and it is taking every ounce of energy to NOT explode, please channel your inner emergency system and send out a warning! It’s really just not fair to the other person who had no clue until the fit is already over, especially in a small place where there is no place to straight up hide from yo’ craziness!
This is something I have a daily lesson in, no joke. (Thank you dear God for giving me a patient husband.)
Eat your chocolate ice cream, drink your Dr. Pepper, and shush.
Now, normally I wouldn’t advocate for junk food but now that I live in the real (tiny) world, I know it has a purpose.
For me, Mountain Dew has come to be a real calming agent in my life. Wow. I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence, but I’m not erasing it. Sometimes when life gets rough, you just gotta give in to temptation. Feeling like you can’t take one more day in this box with this person? Grab a Snickers, baby. Your partner mad at you for just existing in her bubble? Here ya go love, I brought you your favorite, fountain Dew! That’s right. I went all out on the 32oz, that’s how much I love you.
Indulging a little in very stressful times seriously helps ease the tension and bring you closer together by laughing at just how much salt and vinegar chips calm you down. I mean, how does this odd but delicious duo ease your troubles so quickly?
You gotta want it, team!
So I probably should have prefaced that you should definitely NEVER EVER move into a small space with someone you don’t get along with on a normal basis, anyway. Like I said at the beginning of the post, Ed and I get along great, but this whole RV life thing has seriously challenged that statement. All I gotta say is I’m glad looks can’t kill because my poor innocent husband would be waiting in Heaven to give me Hell, yaknowimsayin?
Anyway, the number one marriage tip for living tiny is you really have to remind yourself in tense situations (like when your 380 square feet house is under construction and you CAN’T WALK AND OMG CHELSEA DON’T TOUCH THAT DRILL!!!!) that you really love your spouse and dang it, you’re a team! You moved in to this RV together, you’ll darn well love each other through the rough times. I know if I see Ed getting irritated with me, I try to stop my behavior or give him a hug and apologize before he even has to “go there.” Ed does the same to me. I have never seen so many amazing, beautiful, and patient sides to this man as I have in this tiny space. (swoon)
Bottom line? Make it a priority to get along and show love and gratitude for your teammate.
Living in a tiny space is like taking the absolute most challenging and hands-on course in conflict resolution. It is imperative to remember that your spouse is your teammate and you must work together on all challenges to come out on top. Even though I joke about it, I honestly wouldn’t trade this lifestyle for anything. I am so in love with my husband and the man he chooses to be every day and I know the decision to live this way has pushed us both to reach our potential.
Any questions about living small with your spouse? Want to know more marriage tips for living tiny? Hit me up in the comment box!